To Know Me, Is To Understand Me. Maybe.

Wow. One blog in and I'm suddenly a combination of Oscar fucking Wilde (without the bum sex) and ol' Bill Shakespeare (god rest his soul).

So many thoughts and things to write about. Here's hoping I can keep this up and not fade into obscurity ey, because you know, internet fame is the shit these days, right?

I was inspired to write this blog as I recounted the countless times people often get the wrong impression of me which in all honesty I find hilarious.

If you know me 'in the real world' or even have added me on Faceachebook then you'll probably have thought I'm a cunt at one point or another due to the things I say and post. Which is great, because I am. Not in the negative, tossy, fuckwittery sense like most people are these days. I mean, let's be honest we all know a cunt don't we and their masses seem to be growing exponentially daily at an alarming rate, whereas genuine, decent people seem to be on the decline.

Maybe society is in a state of devolution. Behold the Cuntocalypse. Hmm.

Anyways, back to me.

I am brutally honest in all areas of my life. Always have been, always will be. I can hands down say that is one of the most beneficial things which has come with being born with a terminal illness such as Cystic Fibrosis. I am truly grateful for that outlook too. I just cannot be arsed lying or pandering to people, or their expectations of how they think we should all act and behave. The older I've gotten the less I've cared about offending people too. Life is just too bloody short for tolerating fuckwittery in my book.

Fact is, most people are full of shit and lie their arses off daily about the most inane and stupid things, and that kind of stuff boils my piss as I just don't see the point in it. There's even some cultural theory that backs this up (one of the reasons I fucking loved my degree).

In 1959, a sociologist called Erving Goffman wrote a book called The Presentation of  Self in Everyday Life in which he proposes that human beings use theatrical performance in their daily face-to-face social interactions.

Goffman proposes that we all have two distinct regions, a stage managed front and back region. For example, say a well-known celebrity projects the image of being a clean living, happily married man or woman and then they are revealed via the press to be a drug addled cheating fuckwit which is often the case for most of them. Ugh celebrities, definitely need to write a venomous blog about why I hate most of the pointless oxygen thieves at some point.

If you think about your own social interactions for a minute with people I guarantee you can think of occasions where this theory rings true. I mean, just look at how much women bitch about their mates or other women as a shining example, or how much you have to tolerate that cunt you work with who you secretly despise and wish dead on a daily basis. It is human nature.

I guess what I'm saying is that I have a truly unique perspective on the world and life in general. Even more so now I'm getting older with CF and face a very uncertain future. I rebel in the face of normal expectations, assumptions and just the general mind-numbing boringness of most people these days (boringness is totally a real word by the way).

I seem to have very little of a front or back region (sorry Erving mate). I don't have one of those switches in my head that stops you saying what you think. Mine seems to be permanently on 'speak your mind' mode. Often with offensive and hilarious results.

I love life, I love taking the piss out of myself, people and situations every day as it is true that a day without laughter is a day wasted. Inappropriate humour is the best kind of humour for me and pretty much most things are fair game to be poked fun at.

I'd also admit that my cunty demeanour is a test. If people can hack it and give as good as they get then they are pretty much in my awesome book. And those are the type of people I want in my life.

Those with spirt. And passion. And vitality. And most of all the sheer balls to say what they think.

I know so many people who have so much shit going on because they choose to surround themselves with shit, weak and dodgy people and I'm fucked if that is ever going to be me. I have an extremely low tolerance for bullshit, drama and just the general stuff that we all hear people bleating on about everyday and think, ''who fucking cares you stupid cuntnugget?''

So, in closing statement to the court, yes I'm a cunt your honour. I may well be the cuntiest cunt to ever cunt a cunt in all honesty. But, before judging, take some time and think, or attempt to understand that in the face of insurmountable odds I just want to enjoy life and embrace it. as we all should but so often so very few of us actually manage to.

That's not an excuse by the way, I more than welcome criticism and appreciate being told off sometimes as we all need it.

In short, I'm a good cunt and if you're like me then you're very welcome in my life.